ELEPHANTS ON WHITBY BEACH

ELEPHANTS ON WHITBY BEACH

Saturday, 21 June 2008

MEN WITHOUT HATS

Gentlemen, have you ever tried getting into Rosie O'Grady's to see Carl Robinson play his astonishingly accomplished covers of Shadows tunes (Wonderful Land is a particular favourite) with a hat on?

Every Thursday we go there, and I often wear a small wooly beany type hat, because it is my right to do so. It has nothing to do with male pattern baldness and the fact that the wind off the harbour is a bit cold sometimes. Let's just get that straight. OK?

A friendly bouncer always asks, in a very polite fashion, if I will be kind enough to remove the offending item of headwear prior to entering. This is on strict Police advice. No hats in Rosie's! So does this rule apply across the board?

Well apparently not. Goths are allowed in with hats on! Let's just think that through for a minute, shall we? It means this fellow on the left, who could quite clearly be hiding a huge sharp scimitar, or even a loaded AK47 under that gargantuan stovepipe topper, would be welcomed in to order his cider and black, before killing everybody.


Rabbi Joel Dinnerstein here, who merely wants to watch Keith Newby in his 'Rock Of Ages' jacket perform a disappointing version of Parisian Walkways, would be turned away. Why? Because of his dangerous cap, of course.

Still, looking on the bright side, there's no chance of Jamiroquai ever playing Rosie's!

Hats off to North Yorkshire Police!


5 comments:

groke said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
groke said...

Quite right! One night there were pirates in Rosies. Not only did they have said ridiculous hats, much bigger than a wooly beany, they also had swords. They were also arseholes.

If I were to walk in to Rosies (or any pub/club in Britain) with a sword, I'd expect that to raise the doorman's eyebrows. No, that's fine apparently. Just don't wear a wooly hat.

WhitbyNowSec said...

It is funny you should say that Chris as it was in the paper today that an 80+ year old man had to take his flat cap off before being allowed to enter a Weatherspoons. Just incase he started some trouble and they couldn't see his face properly!
So if it makes you feel bad how do you imagine he felt? well actually I can tell you how he felt because it said, he felt embarassed.

The Invisible Mice said...

Hehe!

You could have someone's eye out with a Tricorn, those pirates are a hazard... Seriously though, it is more than a little mad that you can wander round Whitby with a sword with impunity because you are 'a pirate'... -No you're not, you're simply wearing fancy dress, if you must wear a sword make one out of card and tin foil!

I think we should persuade a passing goth to wear a wooly beany and see if they get asked to remove it...

FredFlintstone said...

Next we won't be alowed into pubs with jackets on, or with bags incase we are hiding a weapon!! The country has gone crazy on all levels. There is a stroy in the paper today about sniffer dogs not being allowed to go near muslims. What that has to do with hats i'll never know, but I thought i'd mention it. Don't know why. It wasted 3 minutes of my day, and that's time I can't get back!!